This Easter

For me, this Easter is different than any other I've experienced.  Because of the extremity of this last year, I have been blessed to learn so much about our Savior - who He was,  who He is to me, what He suffered, why He suffered.

The scriptures talk a lot about how it felt to be a witness of the resurrected Lord.  And though Jesus had told them of that beautiful, world changing miracle which would occur three days after His crucifixion, the New Testament goes into great detail of their astonishment and inability to comprehend that what had been promised had really, truly, actually happened.

With all of those accounts from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John - How desperately I wish I could read it from our Savior's point of view.

How glorious it must have felt to emerge from the tomb, free from the suffering that had just enveloped Him.  Three days after having suffered the excruciating torment of every physical pain, the deep anguish of every emotional pain, the terrible loneliness of every spiritual pain.  How did He feel?  What joy must have filled His heart to know that His mountain of a mission was done?  How did it feel to stand outside the tomb in the quiet of an early spring morning, knowing that He had suffered all that was asked of Him and triumphantly rose again as promised?  How sweet did the sun feel on His face as He undoubtedly knelt to glorify His Father?

And though He knew of the glorious things to come in a few short days, in the midst of what would be the greatest sacrifice known to man, even the Son of God cried out "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

Able to see clearly the details of the specific plan God had for Him and the immense purpose and responsibility placed upon His shoulders, even Jesus himself asked if it might be possible that there be another way.  Then as He knelt to pray again, He valiantly agreed to do what He knew had to be done, "O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done."

In the depths of His pain, struggling to see the glorious things He knew were ahead, Jesus bravely and beautifully put all of His trust in God - knowing this day would bring unimaginable suffering.  He trusted that His suffering would be worth it.

How I would have loved to have been there to see Him step out of the tomb - even to just watch from a distance.  To see the beauty of the spring after such a dark, cold winter.  To see the look on His face, hear the thoughts in His mind.

How thankful I am for the promise that Easter morning brings to me, to Dust.  That if we follow our Savior's example to put our heads down and patiently submit to our Heavenly Father's plan for us, no matter how difficult -  we have the promise of a beautiful spring ahead.

He knows us, He loves us.  He is able to see the beginning and the end, at the same time.  While our suffering is only a fraction of a percent of the suffering Jesus faced, our Heavenly Father can see that through our own small Gethsemane's, we will be enabled to do and be all that He desires for us.

As Dust and I struggle in the dark of our night, kneeling to beg our Father in Heaven to let our cup pass from us, we try to focus our eyes on the beautiful spring ahead.  We try to not take this test for granted, to learn the lessons specifically designed for us - that only through them we will be able to reach the maximum of our potential. 

I cannot possibly express the love I have for our Savior.  I am so very grateful that He selflessly gave all that He had to give for me, for my sweet husband, for our beautiful kids.  I am grateful to know that because He was willing to suffer, we are all able to conquer our Gethsemane's with His help.